Secrets of the Mack - Do you have a girlfriend?
What are you supposed to say when a woman asks you, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I have been getting this question a lot lately and I take it as a sign of interest. But I never know what to say. For one, I feel like when I say "no", I look like a loser, and I don't want to say "yes" and obviously screw everything up. So here is a situation where both possible answers are wrong! What should I be saying? - Unattached
Both answers are right depending on who's asking, providing that you follow up with something that'll attract her even more.
A lot of guys will tell you to answer "no" and then change the subject right away. While this is a good strategy to get off the topic, I think it gives her the impression that you're trying to hide something. The exact thought going through her mind will be: "This guy's embarrassed because he doesn't have a girlfriend."
You could turn it into a joke by saying, "No, but I'm conducting auditions right now," and smile.
I prefer to say no and then follow up with, "I haven't really found the right girl yet." Then start talking about how the majority of women can't hold an intelligent conversation and drop some hints on "intelligent" topics. Nothing too obscure (or you'll look weird), and make sure you include some topics you know she's into. Now that you've let her know that most women can't keep your attention, she'll bend over backwards trying. By dropping some topics she likes, you've made it easy for her, and if you keep up a long conversation with her, that's a serious signal.
If she's a little bit wilder and you're getting some "one night stand" feelings, give her an ambiguous response and use it to transition into some sexual conversation. Answer the question with, "Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend." She'll want to know more. Act secretive and dodge the questions for a while, before talking about how you have one or two "friends-with-benefits." Talk about these hot chicks who are such good friends that it'd feel weird to date them, but when you're single and they're single...you know. From here you should have no trouble transitioning to sex talk, past relationships, and whatever you need to build up the attraction level.
What you're doing is conveying that you're a bit of a player, not that you're a cheating scumbag, but that you're not a needy guy who never gets laid. The worst thing you could possibly do is make her think you're desperate for sex and that she's your only option.
Another way is to play it off as a joke and say, "Yes, I've actually got seven right now, but you know, eight is my lucky number." They'll laugh and tell you to shut up, but will keep pushing. Turn it into a joke: "One's a model, one's a great cook, one's rich and buys me shit, one's dopey, one's sleepy..." Maybe she'll play along and say, "Which one would I be?" or some other joking response, at which point, you've completely dodged the question, made her laugh and can move on to other topics.
Or you can do the totally cocky thing by saying, "Ask me that again in the morning." I've never done this before, so those of you who try it, email me and let me know how it worked out. I imagine it'll work more often than not...
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