Alex Thomas
by Jay Haymon
You know Alex Thomas. Whether you know it or not, you know Alex Thomas. From the jokes he wrote for Will Smith on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air to his co-starring role on The Jaime Foxx Show to his platinum-selling Straight Clownin’ stand-up DVD, Thomas has been on the comedic radar for quite some time now.
We recently had the pleasure of interviewing Thomas during the Chicagoland All-Star Classic. We talked competition (i.e. what he thinks of Dave Chappelle), groupie love (such as how he lures a woman from the VIP room back to his hotel room), and his future in the entertainment business.
On Chicago
"Chicago is like a cleaner New York to me. I love it here. I come here at least three or four times a year. Every time I'm out here I have fun."
On Strip Clubs
"I don't know where this specific club is, but all I know is that whenever I go there, it must be handicap night. On time when I went, this chick came on stage who was 4' 12" and about 195 pounds. One titty was smaller than the other one and she had an eye patch on! I met another chick at this same club back in '96. While she was giving me a lap
dance, she told me her name was, get this, Tatalalicious! I laughed my ass off. I used that name in a Noreaga video that I appeared in and made that girl famous."
On Groupies
"I really do understand groupies. I understand the math of a groupie. So do most rappers. I love the way rappers address groupies. Let me give you an example. Ludacris has a line in one of his songs where he says, “How you ain't gon’ fuck? Bitch I'm me. I'm the gatdamn reason you in VIP!" I love that shit, ‘cuz it's real."
On Dave Chappelle
"Dave has been a friend of mine for 13 years. He is absolutely hilarious. It's amazing how this business is. He's been doing comedy for over 15 years and he's just now getting his own show. So this is an inspiring case of hard work finally paying off."
On His Career
"My career is a trip. I'm like a slow burn. I'm like that dude in music where people didn't recognize how good he was until his second or third album. Everyone who's familiar with the comedy scene knows I'm a pretty good comedian. I just choose to have my own style and not be like the other comedians out here. I'm in this business for longevity. I'm not in it for one movie, one special, one TV show. I want to be rich and famous so my kids and my kids’ kids and so on can be straight."
On Being Single
"I got hoes. Shit, if you look in my cell phone right now you'll see I got 12 chicks named Lisa, 13 named Stacy, and about 9 Keishas. I don't have a girlfriend right now. I'm single and ready to mingle. But you have to be careful being single in this day and age. Shit, I'm wearing a condom right now."
On Ja Rule
"Aww man, Ja Rule hates my guts. Here's why. Dr. Dre and 50 Cent called me because they wanted me to do this sketch for 50 Cent's album (Get Rich or Die Tryin’). So I came up with this skit on track 10 called "Back Down." I was suppose to be this homosexual guy who Ja Rule had messed around with and was upset at 50 for beefing with him [laughs]. I have people coming up to me all the time telling me I helped end Ja's career. But entertainers have been mad at us comedians for years. Anybody remember the Keenan Ivory Wayans/Mike Tyson beef?"
On His Rides
"I have a space shuttle with tints and 20s. I also have a BMW helicopter sittin' on 50s [laughs]. For real though, I keep it simple. I have a Hummer and a 1965 Chevy Camaro with an army green paint job and camouflage seats. Oh yeah, and don't forget my roller blades sittin’ on 22s."
On Upcoming Projects
"I just finished shooting the Kanye West video to his next single, Workout Plan. I play a ghetto Richard Simmons. I'm disguised in a big perm wig and a muscle suit. I had a lot of fun doing this video. This is going to be real big. I'm also doing Straight Clownin’ 2, which P. Diddy is going to produce. I just got finished working with him on the Bad Boys of Comedy too, which is basically the same type of thing Russell Simmons did with Def Comedy Jam. I got a whole lot going on, on top of stripping and selling weed (laughs)."
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