Secrets of the Mack
Every Man's Kryptonite
Has this ever happened to you? You meet a girl and have a really good time, she’s feeling good, you’re feeling good, and all signs are pointing to a good night for all. From nowhere, she bursts into tears and starts crying, because she feels guilty about why every time she meets a great guy (like me lol), why she can’t control herself, saying that I must be a “pickup artist.” Or maybe it’s guilt about cheating on her boyfriend, if she has one. But whatever it was, the tears stopped me dead in my tracks and I went back to what every guy does when a chick cries, you know, “oh it’s ok, don’t cry, here let me put my arm around you.” Took the wind out of my sails, and I couldn’t get back on track. I want to be prepared next time this happens. What’s a way to calm her down? – Powerless
Crying is the second greatest weapon in a woman’s arsenal (the first being a kick that grazes the bottom of your nuts, hurts me just thinking about it). Men are powerless when they see those tears and our immediate reaction is usually to say, “don’t worry, don’t be sad, etc., etc.” and become the shoulder to cry on, thus catapulting us directly to the dreaded “friend-zone.”
But little do we know that in the pickup situation, her tears are a test designed to break the mood and sexual tension. Can we maintain composure and keep her going, or do we fall back into our same predictable behavior? The goal here is to try and maintain the mood and emotional state that was working so well before, but in most cases we fail, because we respond in the exact manner they expect us to.
Instead, try reacting in a way that she doesn’t expect. Try ignoring her crying completely and being playful, joking around and tickling her. In that extreme emotional state, it should be easy to swing those tears into hysterical laughter. Try something silly, like saying, “I hate it when girls cry, it makes me want to cry and...” and then burst out into goofy crying, looking into her eyes and making goofy sad faces, teasing her. Then stop, and grab her and tickle her, to which she’ll probably say, “Stop it!” but start laughing.
If you want to take a more serious approach, you can say, “You’re a big girl, you can do whatever you want. You don’t have to worry about what other people think,” or “You don’t have to be afraid of your feelings.” Then if you’re still having trouble, follow upwith, “Besides, a month from now, when we’re best friends, you’ll think about how we met and laugh.” This lets her picture the future, and by saying “best friends”, there’s less emphasis on commitment and the seriousness of the whole situation.
However, I would prefer the joking response. To me, joking around downplays the serious-ness of everything, and once the crying episode is diffused, you can jump right back in where you left off, with very little change in the original mood. With the second and more serious response, you’re still breaking the mood with explanations, and in my book, explanations ALWAYS make men look more desperate…and guilty (in this case, she caught you trying to get in her pants). Of course, each situation calls for a different response, and you’ll never know what the right response is until you’re in the moment.
And who knows, maybe you’ll decide to bail, because you don’t want to deal with a girl who’s that emotionally unstable the first time you meet... Happy hunting!
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